Pella Chronicle

Letters to the editor

July 22, 2011

Letter to the editor

Pella — To the editor,

I found Rick Cowman’s July 8 Religion article “Standing by Your Man” to be paternalistic, reactionary, and condescending. It represents the oppressive and limiting ideas about women, men, marriage, and relationships that had to be overcome in order for women to be able to do things like vote, play sports, own property, and enter careers besides teaching and nursing.

Progress happens despite articles like this, not because of them. This type of attitude contributes to battered women staying in harm’s way because they have been taught to blame themselves for their husbands’ behavior. “If only I had modeled a Godly attitude and quiet spirit, this wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have nagged him.” The notion that one partner in any relationship is always right or should always be in charge just doesn’t sync up with reality. Both partners bring strengths and weaknesses, and each has accountability for their own attitudes and behavior.

Many happy marriages are based upon an equal partnership between two fully committed adults who mutually and openly support, respect, and challenge each other. Submission and obedience are not part of the arrangement. And surprisingly enough, honest and direct dialogue is usually more effective in promoting change than silently modeling desired behaviors.

Is “MODEL A QUIET SPIRIT” a euphemism for “SHUT UP!”? And what should a wife do who doesn’t possess a “quiet spirit”? Try to “model” one anyway? Pity the poor woman with a lively spirit, an outgoing, fun-loving, or even raucous spirit! According to Rick Cowman’s advice, it seems that her options are to change her personality or avoid getting married.

The 50’s called. They want their minister back.

Susan Eggert


Text Only
Letters to the editor
AP Video
US Proposes Pay-for-priority Internet Standards Wife Mourns Chicago Doctor Killed in Afghanistan FDA Proposes Regulations on E-cigarettes Kerry Warns Russia of Expensive New Sanctions Mideast Peace Talks Stall on Hamas Deal Cody Walker Remembers His Late Brother Paul Grieving South Korea Puts Up Yellow Ribbons Raw: Kerry Brings His Dog to Work Raw: Girls Survive Car Crash Into Their Bedroom Three U.S. Doctors Killed by Afghan Security Yankees' Pineda Suspended 10 Games for Pine Tar Colleagues Mourn Death of Doctors in Afghanistan Ukraine Launches Operation Against Insurgents Obama Reassures Japan on China Raw: Car Crashes Into San Antonio Pool Time Magazine Announces Top Influencers List Raw: Angry Relatives Confront SKorea Officials Bigger Riders Means Bigger Horses Out West Yankees Pineda Ejected for Pine Tar Deadly Fungus Killing Bats, Spreading in US
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide