Pella Chronicle

March 29, 2013

Wives, Stand by you man!

By Rick Cowman
The Chronicle

Pella — We’ve spent a couple of weeks talking about the husband’s responsibilities in the marriage relationship, and just so the men don’t feel picked on, now we’re going to look at the role of the wife.  Once again we are in Ephesians chapter 5.  Take a moment and read that chapter.

We see in verse 33 of our text the primary need of the husband (or any man for that matter) is to be RESPECTED:  “The wife must respect her husband!” Earlier in this chapter (vs 22), we read, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,”  and (vs 24) “as the Church submits to Christ, so also the wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”  Now, before you husbands get all puffed up about this “submission” thing, and before you wives get all bent out of shape about it may I remind you all of verse 21 which says, “Submit to ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ!”  You see, submission is an issue of mutual respect for one another, and a mutual submission to Christ’s authority over our lives.

The word “submit” means to place under an established arrangement or order. God is a God of order!  He has established a plan for order in a marriage relationship, and harmony comes when we get in line with that plan. Submitting yourself to your husband means you first place yourself under God’s authority and plan for your life and your marriage, and then under the responsibility of God’s ordained leader in your marriage;  your husband!

You may be saying, “But you don’t know my situation!  You don’t know what kind of husband I have!  He doesn’t deserve to be respected or submitted to!”  That may be true;  but God’s Word says nothing about the need for your husband to deserve your respect, only that he needs it and you must give it!  It’s a matter of obedience to God’s Word! If you respect your husband only when he deserves it, you probably never will.  And that’s not how God deals with us.  He takes us where we are and loves us anyway.  None of us deserve that, do we?  In verse 21, we see submission is “out of reverence for Christ.”  Respect for your husband is on the basis of the love we receive from and respect we have for the Lord Jesus!  You will only be able to submit to your husband if you have first submitted your life to Christ!  It is God’s great love for you that motivates you to stand by your man;  whether you ever see Christ’s love demonstrated by your husband toward you or not!  That’s a picture of God’s love;  it’s unconditional!  And, may I say, you can’t do that.  Only God can do that through you as you submit to His will.

Even if you can’t fully respect your husband at this point in time, you must decide to respect the position God has placed him in your life!  You must first accept that God has placed him over you as a covering of protection. That’s God’s ideal.  Certainly there are cases where the husband is not a protector at all, but actually a threat to the woman’s life.  That’s NOT God’s plan!  But wives, you must guard against giving up on your husband and your marriage just because the situation is hard.  God is at work in your marriage and your marriage partner!  Don’t give up on your husbands;  God hasn’t!  Make a decision today to stand by your man!